Monday, January 22, 2007

MORE HUGS PLEASE!!

It’s funny how my cousin reacts violently about Gretchen’s issues shown on S-Files. It’s kind of ridiculous to hear her opinions and grievances regarding the case since first of all, she’s neither close to Gretchen, nor to Bong Revilla for that matter; and second, she doesn’t have a say on it since she’s just a regular viewer on TV. For God’s sake! She’s cursing Gretchen as if she knows the person well. I don’t care about Gretchen; I just hate hearing her crazy remarks.

Buti pa sya, yung lang ang pinoproblema sa buhay. While she’s continuously ranting about the stupid issue, I, on the other hand, have been silently contemplating on certain things which are bothering me lately. Well, I know I shouldn’t really think about these matters. There are other more important things to attend to [i.e. photojourn project; PolDy recitation; thesis deadline] than this unexplainable feeling of mine. But then, when my emotions are involved, I can’t seem to concentrate.

First of all, the results of the prelim exams make me nervous. I can say that I did study well but then, the tests are very difficult. After every exam, I’ll end up frustrated for not knowing the answers to some items. I’ll get even more frustrated when I learn that my answers are not the same with my other classmates. These frustrations, add to that the pressure of meeting deadlines and preparing for recitations, make me don’t want to go to school anymore. All of those make me feel helpless and hopeless. I’m not really aiming to get high grades. As long as I pass, that will be more than wonderful.

Second, I felt sad after talking to my dad. It’s quite unusual to feel bad after a conversation with him, but a while ago was different. It’s been a habit of him to ask me about someone. I really didn’t know what to tell him although I was already expecting he’d ask. I just remained quiet for a while and changed the topic. After talking to daddy, I went straight to our room, lied on my stomach and buried my face on my pillow. I shed a few drops of tears, and then, I felt okay. I immediately resumed to watching PRINCESS HOURS.

Watching PRINCESS HOURS makes me feel happy. Actually, natapos ko na sya kanina lang. Ang saya saya! Even the thought of buying its 2-disc package for only a hundred pesos made me jump with glee. I had to buy my own copy of it since Arene’s copy was already dysfunctional due of its many scratches. I just felt I had to buy it with urgency because recently, only these kinds of series on DVD make me feel light, excited and happy. My life has been a bit gloomy the past days but just seeing the characters of these Koreanovelas give me hope that someday, I would live my life happily ever after just like theirs; that someday, I will find the man who will complete me; and that someday, all my dreams and aspirations will come true. I know these surreal ideas will lead me nowhere. I’m just hopeful that someday, I’ll be completely happy and contented. I believe nothing’s wrong with that.

How can I sound as gloomy as this song playing called Eyes on Me? Hehe. But I’m very much okay. I know I can handle things on my own. I’ll get through this because I’m a strong person. Wuhoo! GO DEZ!!Ü

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