Monday, August 30, 2010

Of Ends and Hurting


Wala lang. Bukod sa "People always leave," naalala ko lang yung isa pang quotable quote ni Peyton Sawyer.
Every song ends, but is that any reason not to enjoy the music?
 I did enjoy the music. It's just sad the song ended this way. 

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dear Boyfriend,

It's high time you gave me chocolates again. 
Thanks! I love you.

 

On a more serious note:
I love you so much, Budang. I hope you'll realize how painful and devastating it'd be on my part if something bad happens to you. I hope you love me enough that you'll choose to take care of yourself, stay away from imminent danger, and spare me from falling into the horrible state of being worried. I don't want you getting hurt. So please, pwede ba, enough with the ka-barumbado-han already? Send me chocolates na lang. Hay. I miss the good old you.

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Gun Toting, Trigger Happy.

Just this morning, during our weekly meeting, our chairman advised us, employees, to speak well of our country when traveling abroad, and to not wash our dirty linen in public. Little did we know that right about the time he was talking to us, a mad ex-policeman has already been holding hostage more than 20 people, mostly Chinese nationals. This incident ended after more than 10 hours on a tragic note, with eight tourists dead.The hostage-taker also died with a gunshot in the head.


Now, what good is left to boast about the Philippines? How can our rich culture and beauteous scenery cover for such a tragic and shameful incident? This posits negative effects on our tourism and economy. But beyond money matters, it's really disheartening that such an incident has put the country in a terribly bad light. It's heartbreaking that innocent lives were lost because this one desperate person cannot have everything he wants. Grabe. I feel sorry for the Philippines. 



Severe Threat: Serious kidnap incident happened in the Philippines, residents should avoid all travel to the country; those who are already there should attend to their personal safety and exercise caution.~HK Security Bureau

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Simple joys.

I was being narcissistic, so I Googled myself and found this.


It's still a mystery who wrote it. But the most important thing is that this blog entry made my day extra-special. It painted a smile on my face--a smile that is no longer as "killer" as it was before. 

The thought that someone regards me this way is too flattering. Thanks, whoever you are. Ah, high school! I miss being a teenager. I miss being with my friends!

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pulubi.

Wala akong galit sa mga pulubi. Ang totoo nga nyan, sobrang lambot ng puso ko sa mga nanghihingi ng tulong. Hangga't may maibibigay ako, hindi naman talaga ako madamot sa kanila. Pero kung wala, wala talaga. Masama man ang loob kong tanggihan sila, wala ako magagawa.

Yung naranasan ko kanina, binago ang paningin ko sa mga pulubi. Parang ayaw ko na tuloy maawa at maging mabait sa kanila.

Uhaw na uhaw ako matapos bumisita sa Educ Lib at maglakad-lakad sa campus. Pagdating sa Philcoa, napilitan na akong bumili ng Coke Light sa Jollibee para mapawi ang aking uhaw. Habang naghihintay ng FX, may lumapit sa aking batang babae na may tulak-tulak na stroller. Kasama nya ang nakababatang kapatid nya.

Pulubi: Ate, pahingi po ng barya.
Ako: Naku, wala kasi akong barya. Pamasahe ko na ito eh.
Pulubi: Ate, akin na lang po yang iniinom mo.
Ako: Sorry, uhaw na uhaw kasi ako eh. Pasensya.

[Sinagasaan ng bata gamit ang stroller ng kapatid nya ang sapatos kong kulay puti.]

Ako: Wag mo naman akong sagasaan.
Pulubi: Ate, akin na lang 'to. [Hinihila na nya yung supot ng softdrink ko.]
Ako: Wag naman, please.

Naisipan ko na umalis para hindi na ako kulitin nung bata. Ang nakakagulat na "parting words" nya para sa akin ay isang malutong na...

"Putang ina mo."

Nakakalungkot lang. Pulubi na nga sya, masama pa ang ugali. Sya na nga lang yung nanghihingi at nang-aabala di ba? Grabe talaga yung batang yun. Sana ibless sya ni Lord para di na sya panghabang buhay manghingi ng barya at softdrinks ng ibang tao.

Hay.

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Motivation

Since I still haven't started reviewing, allow me to remind myself why I should force myself to study. Here are a few lines from my application letter, which I have posted some months ago in this particular entry.

"Through this degree, I believe that I will be able to surpass expectations, hone my skills, expand my knowledge, and contribute more to society. Should I be admitted, I trust that this degree will help me be more competent in my job, come up with well-edited textbooks, and therefore be a better steward of learning. This degree will enable me to contribute much to the improvement of the quality of the Filipino youth’s education."

There you go, Dez. Stop surfing the Internet and start reviewing already! You're blogging too much. Seriously, five entries in a span of eight days? Masyado kang masipag mag-update, it's not doing any good to you. Isipin mo ang kinabukasan ng mga batang gagamit ng mga librong ini-edit mo. LOL.

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Faces

Photo courtesy of:

We all have faces to show and protect. A probable face is one of a kikay sosyalera*. Of course, once she has projected her face to the public, she can never switch to another face; she has to be consistent with her public image. But what if her face contradicts her true self? I mean, a face doesn't necessarily reflect one's true personality, right?

Let's say this kikay sosyalera often brags about her branded possessions. That'll be normal right? Since she's sosyal, she must only own expensive items and only be in fabulous places. However, what if her friends find kinks about this face of hers? Let's say, her friends found out her items aren't really authentic and that she also shops at thrift-stores and that she does not personally finance her trips. What does that imply about her true personality? Her friends may probably start to doubt the things she claims and feel awkward about her. Her face, therefore, did not work for her. It only put her to a state which is unfavorable to her.

Another face is one of a cool good girl**. Let's say this girl is not really seen in public smoking since she has maintained a good girl  image, but then one gimmick night, she decided that she wanted to appear to be really very cool in front of cooler people. So she brings a case of cigarettes and puts it in her pocket. When it was time to go, she "accidentally" dropped the case, making the cooler people see her stash of cigars. Definitely, the cooler people would react since they did not expect little ms. good girl to be smoking. She enjoys the attention given to her by the cooler people, but what does that act mean to a friend who knows she hates smoke, be it tambucho-smoke or side smoke?

I don't really know about the face people perceive of me. All I know is that I am most of the time myself and that isolated downfalls do not completely define me. I know I am tamad, irresponsible, and insecure. I'm not ashamed of those characteristics. I'm also not ashamed to say that I'm not a  "horrendous" boyfriend stealer; that I am not a manipulative bitch; that I try not to make jokes at others' expense; that I am not a user; that I am not mean especially to my friends; that I try to keep friends' secrets as best I can; that I am not a cheating girlfriend; and that I do not think too highly of myself. Some people may not agree on me with these but this is how I perceive myself and this is the face I am trying to wear consistently.

I think it is okay to put on a face as long as one can hold up to it and be convincing about it. However, for me, the most important thing is still keeping one's true personality. After all, if you are really proud of who you are in the first place, then you won't have to pretend to be something and wear a face. The point is, if you are going to present and own a certain face, at least make sure that it jives with who you are, with your environment,  and with your resources. Don't let others find holes in your facade. And if you can't do that, then just be the real you.

My point of this entry, perhaps, is that it is more important to prioritize one's true self than project faces which others will adore and glorify because chances are, this face might get tainted and in the end, you'll not know which version of you will work for your betterment.

--------------------
  *This is a purely hypothetical face.
**Another purely hypothetical face.

live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz★

Bitterness [n]

Bitterness is a word; a noun which means "the state of being disappointed, angry, and unhappy." It's root, bitter, is also a base as the suffix -ness may be attached to it. The suffix -ness is a nominal morpheme because the suffixation resulted to a change in word class--from adjective to noun. Thus, the word bitterness underwent derivational morphology.

I think bitterness is also common to everyone of us, believe it or not; accept it or not. Maybe it's just me, but I think everyone may have reasons to feel bitter. Even the luckiest and happiest person may be bitter. He/she may just not know it.  Like for example, you may be the highest-paid person in the world, but it's lonely at the top, right? Bitterness, for me then, is the outcome of the fact that one cannot have it all.

I am bitter because first: I cannot have it all [LOL], and second: because I'm having difficulties with my English 117 class when in fact, it's an easy subject. It's just confusing because it is too technical. Had I been given enough background on this subject, I might not be kulelat in class. Good thing I share the same sentiment with an MA classmate because she too has no background in English and this fact lowers my bitterness meter to almost half. For now, the only solution to this bitterness is to get better grades in future exercises, and most especially in the midterm exam. And so, I have to burn my eyebrows [magsunog ng kilay, LOL] in order for me to get good grades and get rid of this bitterness in me.

I am bitter because despite my performance, I still don't get to enjoy the corresponding raise to that performance. Apparently, the company where I'm working at would rather reward not-so-great employees  than excelling ones. Oh well.


I am also bitter because the person who stole my cellular phone in the office, during office hours is still at large and is still not reprimanded. The sadder part is, the company doesn't seem to be alarmed of this incident. Sigh.

How about you, are you just [a] plain bitter or [b] not bitter but pretentious? ~Oo, talagang dalawang choices lang. Blog ko to eh ;p

Pretentious, by the way, is a word; an adjective which means "trying to be something that one is not, in order to impress." Its root, pretend [not tend because pretend is a separate lexical item as opposed to pre + tend which does not mean the same], is a verb and is also a base and a potential stem [PRETEND: pretends, pretended, pretending]. Pretentious is an adjective that underwent derivational morphology because the suffixation of -ous resulted to a change in word class. The suffix -ous is an adjective-forming morpheme; it is also a vocalic suffix which caused the softening of the voiced alveolar plosive /d/ to the voiceless post-alveolar fricative /ʃ/ because of the morphological process, assimilation, particularly, lenition. There.

I hope I did pretentious correctly. I had quite a hard time analyzing that simple word. God, what more if our prof gives us difficult words and phrases? Please help me.

There you go. I just reviewed and ranted at the same time in this blog entry. Thank you very much.

 live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz★

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Personal Financial Stability

This is one thing my boss has been encouraging me to achieve since the day Mama underwent operation.  That day, I didn't know where to get money to pay for Mama's hospital bills. I had to request for a loan in the office just so I could clear our balance.

Personal financial stability is a state wherein one does not have to worry where he/she will get funds for specific situations, be it emergencies or pure spur-of-the-moment indulgence, because he/she has enough savings to spend. I wish to achieve this state before I turn 35. I wish to have enough money for emergencies and still have enough money in the bank for other purposes. I wish to be financially fulfilled by that time.

I tried to reflect on my own and thought the following habits will help me save money.

1. Automatically and habitually save 20 percent [or more] of my salary. I have to consider this obligatory to make it possible. Right after withdrawals, I must deposit my savings.

2. I shouldn't shave what I have saved. I should refrain from using my credit card and maintain a 10-thousand limit if I want to save whatever amount I have in the bank.

3. Avoid impulsive buying. This, I should say, is the hardest habit to develop. I am a totally impulsive person. Once I like something, I buy it without thinking twice. Worse, the things I buy impulsively are not really necessary.

4. Be very, very determined to achieve this bucket list item.

Follow the link for more tips in achieving personal financial stability.

 live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz★

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Random

It's August!

Noticed my new layout? I wonder what happened to my previous layout. I really loved that one. But well, maybe it's time to move on. It's just too bad I forgot my html codes already. I can no longer remember how to keep mg BG still. Help, anyone?

Thank God for giving me a super boyfriend. I love him for always being patient and supportive and loving and understanding and generous and loving and faithful and trustworthy. My 70 months of love and hate, ups and downs, twists and turns, stress and comfort, with him are so worth it.

School is ________ [insert life-sucking adjective]. Rawr! Exams are nearing. I hope I get good grades, especially in Eng117. Lord, please help me.

I'll be more tolerant of ungrammatical people and of those with speech defects. I really felt a pang of guilt when my professor expressed her disappointment on people who mock others who do not have perfect grammar or who have difficulties in their articulations. I realized, I am not perfect myself. As a linguistics student, I should be more understanding of people's individual differences. So from here on, I'll just laugh at know-it-alls who think they're perfect with everything.

I attended a birthday party / reunion with college friends. It's fun to catch up with one another; to know that despite the changes and the unfortunate turn of events between a few of us, we still manage to settle our differences and continue to be friends. Dramas and cat fights only happen in high school. It's fun to have mature friends who understand.

I am a lucky person. I may not be the highest paid junior editor in the world, but at least I still enjoy the comforts of being taken care of my Mama and Daddy, the joys of horse-playing with my sister before sleeping, the warmth of my loving Budang's kisses and embraces, the opportunities given to me by my bosses, and the company of my friends who never leave my side.

 live.love.learn.LOL
Happid3zz★