Saturday, October 2, 2010

Of battles and rants

Writing has been one of my outlets lately. If I can't talk to a friend, I keep myself sane by writing to Thinkerbella. But since she has given up on me, Austin took her special place in my life. What I can't say publicly, I say to Austin. He does not respond, of course. But he's a really good shock absorber. I guess it's just important for me to let out what I truly feel. Since I don't have Austin with me, I'm writing to this blog.

Dear blog,

I am yet to give you a name. I swear, it'll be a good one. But for now, just please hear me. If you could give me an advice, please do so. LOL.

So I swore to myself that my October would be better, happier. I was resolved to doing everything I can to make Zia healthier and stronger. However, hurdles keep blocking my way. Not that I don't think I could overcome them, but I just feel that life has to give me a break.

On second thought, maybe this is life's way of making me and Zia stronger. After all, the meaning of life isn't solely measured by just the happy times. Most of the time, life is all about how one fights his/her battles. I'll face my battles with all my might. They can't be bigger than me.

This battle with some relatives made me down today. It's sad that during the time when we were humiliated in front of a lot of people, nobody stood up for us. And when I finally decided to speak in my family's behalf, they misinterpreted me. It's sad how matters like this get out of hand. It's nobody's fault that we are in this situation. I just wanted to express what we felt. When I wrote our official statement, I had no intentions of looking down on anyone. I never thought of their financial condition. I just thought, regardless of one's standing in life, no one deserves to be lambasted in front of an audience.

I can't believe how such interpretations were formulated. Sigh. I hope God helps me with this.

All I need right now is peace of mind. I'm so stressed out and over-fatigued that I'm starting to get sick, which isn't something that's normal to me. I just want total normalcy in my life again. And I'm going to achieve that no matter what.

I know I'm not alone in this battle. My family is behind me. We're all in this together. Ang most importantly, God is with us. Wish us luck, blog. HUG!

No comments:

Post a Comment

How did you find this blog entry? Feel free to leave your comments and/or questions and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks for visiting!