Sunday, January 9, 2011

Good Riddance

Dear Juliet,

Can I be evil just this once? just in this blog entry? I have a few minutes to spare to talk about my PATHETIC ex, Djhay Sebastian Fabrigas. But first things first: I am not bitter. I’m just expressing my rawest, truest, sincerest, and craziest reactions to truths I have only learned today.

I usually opt to keep everything that happened between us to myself because I didn't want others to see him as the kontrabulate. But sometimes, the truth has to come out, right? So this is me being honest. This is me being mean to the meanest, FUGLIEST monster that I’ve ever met. I don’t care what people will say. I just have to let this all out. I’m trying to “LET JUSTICE PREVAIL EVEN THOUGH THE HEAVENS FALL” here, or whatever. LoL!

An overview
I had this almost 6-year relationship with a guy I thought was sent to me from heaven. He was tall, dark, and handsome. But that was 6 years ago. He’s just tall and dark now. “Fat” would be a better substitute for “handsome.”

So I gave him my all, believed in everything he told me, and loved him for everything that he is. We claimed that our love was the greatest and that it would be us, always and forever. I believed that we were a cute couple. A lot of our friends admired us for overcoming all the hurdles that came our way. People believed in our love. My parents had faith in us and in him too.

I sacrificed a lot for him. He sacrificed a lot for me. Our relationship was really strong. We had nothing but overflowing love for each other. He even asked me to marry him. I said yes, of course. But we were too young to actually tie the knot so we postponed whatever marriage plans he had. Although we weren’t married, he was practically my husband. I supported him in his studies, in his frat duties as a junior, in his work, in his family issues, in his financial problems, in everything. I was there for him in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. He knows that.

In short, my world revolved around him. He was good for me. I believe I was good for him too. But then somewhere sometime, he turned into a monster, chose to break my heart, and ruined my life.

In September 2010, he confessed that while I was unsuspecting and enjoying our so-called “love-filled relationship,” he had a one-night stand with a girl from law school. According to him, this one-night stand happened somewhere in JUNE 2010. Meaning to say, he was lying to my face for 2 months or so. Being the madly-in-love-girlfriend that I was, I illogically told him that I was willing to forget that one-time slip and that I am ready to forgive him. I insanely asked/begged/pleaded him to not leave me, but he gave me the “Sorry, I fell out of love” shit. He broke up with me through text, by the way. What a fucking manly way to do it, right? Bravo!

So that September was a pretty bad time for me. I lost everything. My world crumbled. And for weeks, I was depressed. My family, friends, and officemates are witnesses to how my world changed. I managed to live my life again and move on. I tried to keep good memories of him because I told myself that I should not be bitter; that he does not deserve to be judged negatively because after all, cases of guys falling out of love with their girlfriends are plausible. And so, I believed he was not at all corrupt; that he still has a good bone in his body. I tried to forget the bad things he did to me. I gave my all to resurface from that depression he caused. I tried to be a good person. But then again, being a good person won’t bring me anywhere. So let’s just talk about the harsh truths now.

1. Sure, your frat—a small-time, university-wide one—doesn’t define you. You chose to be corrupt and that’s all on you. They do not have anything to do with your moral perversion. I don’t care whether you used good or bad judgment, but hey, at least you’ve achieved the status quo you, as a social climbing piece of an ass, have always wanted. You’re now rich, famous, badass, and on top. Congratulations!

2. In December 2009, when I thought we were so in love, a girl came in between us. You made me believe that this "kerida" of yours was nothing; that nothing happened between the two of you. You even fixed that mess you did by deleting her from your phone contacts and your Facebook friends. Soon, our relationship got back to its normal, smooth-sailing path. But then again, that was just the lying bastard in you who was making me believe that you’re such a good boyfriend.

SHE was NOT nothing to you. Your dear frat mates dared you to kiss her and I bet you did more than that. It's not a surprise if she’s not the only girl you had a one-night stand with! Now, thank your frat for hooking you up with a whore [or whores, for that matter] who’s got an LLB degree. What a way to live your crap of a doctrine to be “gentlemen.” Kagaguhan yan! You’re not being gentlemen. You, especially, are not being a man. Ttsss!

3. Oh hey, you’ve had one night stands? That is so cool, real impressive, and overly macho! That fact just caused your masculinity meter to soar up high. NOT! There’s not a chance for real MANLINESS for you, bitch.

4. You told me, “There is no one else.” But that is bullshit and you know that. While I was finding my way around rebuilding my life, you were already dating someone. While I almost died crying and drinking at the same time in Gumbo, you were already in love with another woman. While I was helpless and lost, you never thought of repenting for what you did to me. While I was mourning over our breakup, you were overly happy with your new life.

I believe she’s your new girlfriend now. I just hope she knows everything about your past and has accepted that. Because if not, her trust rating of you will fall drastically and your “gains” and “conveniences” from her will go down the drain. That’ll be too bad.

Oh. By the way, with all due respect, I look way prettier than her. I always thought you had good taste. What happened? I’m not hating, just saying :)

5. Today I found out that you deleted me from your Facebook friends. I don’t know when you did that. You’re in “hidden” mode so I didn’t really notice your disappearance from my news feed. But for some weird reasons, the Universe helped me find out about it today. I have to say, that’s a funny gay move. Because after four months of my silence, you only thought of deleting me just now? That is weird. Or were you checking out my profile once in a while and got to read my blog entries? Did you get mad because of those? Well, I’m NOT sorry. You’re really a monster and a gay man to me now.

This move of yours also made way for truth to be revealed. Grabe. You made a fool and a loser out of me. I can’t imagine how you were able to do that to me. I did nothing but love you with all that I can. I’ve been nothing but faithful and loyal to you. All those times that I was trying to be the best girlfriend I can be for you, you were deliberately and unashamedly cheating on me. AND THAT WAS NOT JUST ONCE. Do you think I deserve that?

Sana pinakawalan mo na lang ako noong February 2010 when I was breaking up with you. You knew that time that I don’t deserve you, but you selfishly held on to the relationship. I really, really hope and pray to God that when you die, your soul [if you still have one] burns in hell.

DO NOT be worried about me. Even if my circle is not big enough, I’m sure there’s a man out there who will love me the way I deserve to be loved. Worry about your girlfriend and your future wife because she does not deserve to have a WORTHLESS, CHEATING, SOULLESS, SELFISH, ASS OF A PERSON like you!

Please do know that I regret mourning over our breakup. You were never deserving of my tears. You were never deserving of true love, of my love. Buti na lang hindi ka na parte ng buhay ko. BAKLA!

LoL! There you go friends, I’m done being mean. I kinda crossed boundaries there, but what the heck, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

I will now go back to my happily-single self.

Hoping, waiting, believing.
★ Happidezz

No comments:

Post a Comment

How did you find this blog entry? Feel free to leave your comments and/or questions and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks for visiting!