Sunday, March 25, 2012

Dear Juliet,

Minsan, gusto ko na lang magalit because I wasn't given the comfortable life I’ve been wanting to live. Gusto ko magalit kasi hindi na matupad-tupad yung usapan namin ng parents ko na kapag nakapagtapos na ako ng pag-aaral, pwede ko na gawin lahat ng gusto ko. Gusto ko magalit kasi hindi kami mayaman. Gusto ko magalit kasi ang hirap ng ganitong buhay namin.

I know, I sound a bit too exaggerated. Hindi pa naman kami umaabot sa puntong wala nang makain sa umaga, tanghali, at gabi. We’re still surviving. Pero gets? Ang HIRAP. Ayoko na ng ganito.

Nakakalungkot lang na ang dami kong gusto gawin at bilhin para sa sarili ko pero di ko magawa kasi kailangan ko pa tulungan yung pamilya ko. Ang selfish lang pakinggan diba? Gusto ko magshopping pero di pwede bilhin lahat. Gusto ko magtravel pero walang pamasahe at walang time. Gusto ko kumain ng masarap pero expensive na, fattening pa. ANG DAMI KONG GUSTO. Ang babaw noh?

Pero minsan kasi nakakapagod na yung setup na feeling mo lagi kang deprived. Na kahit anong gawin mong pagtatrabaho, hindi ka suswelduhan ayon sa tingin mo ay deserve mo. At kahit anong gawin mong pagtatrabaho, parang never magkakasya yung suswelduhin mo sa mga expenses na kailangan mo bayaran. Nakakabaliw. Ang hirap. Tapos ang mas nakakalungkot pa dun, nakikita mo yung mga tao sa paligid mong napakaginhawa ng buhay. Bakit ganun? Nakakalungkot lang talaga.

Hay. Ang emotional lang nitong hapon ko. Ewan ko ba. Pakiramdam ko buong February nako nahihirapan. Nag-extend pa ng March. Takte, sana naman sa April mas gumaan na ang mga bagay. HHUUUGGSSS! ;c

Bukas, when I'm in a better mood, pagsisisihan at pagtatawanan ko kung bakit ko sinulat itong entry na ito.

Hoping, waiting, believing.
★ Happidezz

Sunday, March 18, 2012

MARCHing onward

Dear Juliet,

I have so much to tell you! A lot has transpired and there is just so much I have in mind that I don't know where to start and how to start. Well, let's talk about my new background first. I changed it cos it's SUMMER! It's that bright and dandy part of the year again. The heat sucks, but I still think everything is really fun under the sun. LoL. Lame.

Second, let's talk about my February. 
Well, my February really sucked. I would call it "the onset of my quarter life crisis." And though February had a very negative vibe to it, I managed to come out of it alive, thanks to a "someone" who stuck with me and made me happy despite all the shit that happened.

I resigned from my previous job. I really, really loved that job with all my heart and it was a painful decision to leave. But sometimes there really is a need to move on and find something that will make us happier. I'm gonna miss the people there. They were all so warm and kind and happy. I've become comfortable with them already and some of them, I really trusted so much.
I'm gonna miss them!
Another reason why I had to leave was because I committed an offense. I felt really ashamed of myself that I thought my bosses won't ever trust me again. Thus, my decision to give up the post and just move on. I thought, I won't find it easy to face them and work for them again after the incident so, I left.

Still in February was Valentines Day and my trip to Corregidor. It's just so awesome to be celebrating special occasions (slash social constructs) with a person dear to you. Having someone support you all the way is just so comforting.

Corregidor was tiring, but fun! It was really hot, but who cares? I was with the person I love. Woot!

Job hunting was such a pain in the ass. But after the long search, I eventually found a place that sparked my interest and made me ready to face a new chapter in my career life.

Moving forward in March
I can't really say my quarter life is over just yet. I'm still dealing with a lot of adjustments and I have to say it's really taxing. I am close to tears every end of the day. I am broke. I'm always so tired and so pissed of heavy traffic. I'm always so frustrated. But I'm also trying to hold on to my dear life. I know everything will fall back to their proper places. I'll eventually get used to this new setup and my life will be back to normal. 

Good thing I have a very good support system. My mom is always there to prepare my baon for me. My sister always teases me about how fat I'm becoming, and my dad is always willing to send me relief cash during emergencies. They're like Pokemons, gotta love 'em all!

The world of makeup
I am currently working in a cosmetics company as a Marketing Communications Editor. I started last Monday; tomorrow marks my first week! My job is basically to write and edit advertorials, communicate with publishing companies, and supervise the Creative Team of the Marketing Department. This is definitely a whole new world for me, but it's an exciting world; one that requires me to wear freakin' makeup! And while we still don't have uniforms, I'll also have to wear girly-girl outfits and the dreaded heels.

It's such a different world. Everything is informal and gay. My colleagues call one another "girl," and my boss utters "chorva," "eklavu," and "chararat" during weekly meetings and during office hours. They even say cuss words out loud. How weird is that?

The office is really interesting! I have two workmates who resemble Scent and Chuchie, two college batch mates. And I also have two guy office mates who remind me of my the two graphic artists in my previous job. 

For my first week, I've already been sent to two events: Mirror, Mirror advance screening and, lo and behold, Daiana Menezes' fans day. Hahaha. But I have overtime pay for these, so I gladly attended them.

Hay. My job is gonna be demanding and I really hope it doesn't ruin my relationships. 

What sucks though...
...is that I can no longer go to the gym! I miss the gym and I miss my friends there. Now, I only have the weekends to workout--that's if I have no event to attend. Last Saturday, I didn't get to workout and that really sucked. Imma make sure to workout every weekends. I'm gaining weight already! I'm going to pursue boxing this time. I loved my first try at Elorde's and I'm going back soon.

And speaking of working out, I have to drag my lazy butt to the gym now! I'll talk to you again soon. No more blog hiatus, this time. I promise! :)

Hoping, waiting, believing.
★ Happidezz